"what you do isn’t really a job"

i. am. so. tired. of. hearing. this.


all i post on here are length text posts of my thoughts.

i promise there’s a lot of artwork, amazing work done photos coming up. really, i’m just in that in between phases where work just doesn’t seem to be done.

meh meh meh

On Change & Growth.

when you hit a point in your life where you catch up on the progress you’ve made, it feels really weird to look back and squint at the person you were.

i use to be very adamant that change was a bad thing. that if you changed your opinions, looks, etc you were simply giving into the norms or something along the lines of that.

it took quite a while to forgive myself for the pre-determined notions my younger self had. and when i reconciled with all of that, i say to people my younger self had a more shallow and limited way of thinking, which is the truth.

i think the idea of change or that vision of how you might not stay this exact same person scares a lot of us because we think we need to be definitive.

everyone struggles with this at one point and it all bows down to whether you accept this thought of ‘i’m imperfect and not exactly defined to a specific something’ is when you feel alright to accept that you’ll become different things in your course of life.

maybe we need to see all of this in a view of something less serious and fixed but in a more ‘ha ha ha this is really funny’ but it applies way.

think of yourself as an uncooked steak and the experiences you’re going to get/go through are spices to season you (in a literal sense as well). some are tear jerking spicy, some are neck flinching sour, some make your nose flair up with 4 consecutive sneezes. all of them eventually results to a good beef steak that even with all the hard work was really worth it cause now you have this really delicious thing to enjoy.

i hope that makes sense and now i really want to have some steak.

i’m feeling very ???? about this whole dating swipe left swipe right app thing. the world can’t be that bad or reluctant that we’re going on an app to meet people and letting it be what we call socialising or whatever.

i understand technology and how it’s making us more progressive but… man, we can’t eventually just throw our hands in the air and be like yeah alright that’s how it is.

i probably need to write a really good convincing essay on this later on to properly translate how it all feels in my head.

but dang yo, are we truly heading in the direction of technology is everything? hmmmm

not having the best of weeks/months/etc.

old habits die hard. been off ciggs for 4 months now (TLDR; smoked a long time in college, been trying to quit and focus on better lifestyle choices) and recently got a bit cheeky and snuck a few over the weekend. resulting in a flare in my digestive system. i had a lesion in my stomach last year from bad eating habits (and over-smoking, ooops) so i’m currently having some nasty stomach issues.

also unhealthy eating habits, not eating at proper hours or just not eating proper meals.

so kids, don’t try to be me and give up those ciggs. nothing is cooler than being able to go through your day without having to make sure you don’t crap in your pants after every meal.

this has been another PSA by me.

i’m trying to move abroad. that’s a thing that might happen. 

i also acknowledged my feelings and dealt with them healthily recently.

feeeeelssss so goooood


i’m going to be published!!!!!! in a magazine!!!!! outside of my country!!!!!

i’m!!!! so!!! proud!!! 

But loving someone, and being loved means so much to me. We always make fun of it and stuff. But isn’t everything we do in life a way to be loved a little more?

Before Sunrise (1995)

(via readwelltraveloften)

#ah  #favs  

just found 400 Lux today. what a great song.

Present. Future.

The minute you think you’re absolutely sure of where you need to be, you find yourself boarding the train to another station. I’m not sure where exactly I’m heading to next, I know for certain it’s somewhere beyond now.

In this singular month, I saw how much I’ve grown mentally and physically. I’m not who I use to be and it doesn’t feel like I’ve lost anything of me, it just feels like I’m so comfortable and okay with being who I am currently.

There’s plenty of room to keep going, I’m grateful for the progress so far.

I’ve come to realize no one punishes you for expressing your feelings. Those who make fun of you or tell you to be less sensitive are just people who are ashamed of this very human trait we have.

Feeling is the one thing that connects all of us, without it we’d only be fragments floating aimlessly.

It’s like the quote from the Thorah that’s mentioned in Nick & Norah (hey! that rhymed), about how the world is broken and it’s our job to piece it back together, then Nick tells Norah that maybe we’re the pieces?

I feel that way about my feelings. That when I feel, I’m piecing one small thing back together. What that piece represents, I’m not sure. I am sure that the piece is important to me as I grow.

I’m really grateful for the events I’ve gotten to experience in the last three years since turning 20 and I’m excited and very scared for all the experiences coming.

It’s natural to be afraid, I’ve told many times, yet the fear gets ahead of you, lodging itself in your throat, making you anxious.Nothing feels more liberating after however, beating your fear and your anxiousness makes you realize how minuscule fear is in the first place.

I hope everyone feels this liberation and ease.

I hope everyone feels calm and loved as I do.

I really hope they do.

  August 27, 2014 at 12:28pm